A Hardened Heart..... My Hardened Heart

It has come to my attention lately that something terribly disconcerting has happened.....
The fact of the matter is I once had such a soft and loving heart.... so soft it would bring tears to my eyes when I would see them in others'. It would be compelled to always think and want the best from and for someone else- always, no matter what.... even if they killed a bunch of innocent people. It would make me feel incapable of sitting on a jury to determine another person's fate.
This heart of mine over the years has seen some pretty horrible things. Had some pretty tremendous burdens. Been hurt. And.... as things like this have occurred, it has become hard. Like a wall being built up around it. Not willing to let things penetrate that may cause more pain, more let down, despair.....it has found a way to stay safe.... but, at what cost?

It stopped looking at strangers with a smile and started looking at them like they could possibly be harmful. 
It stopped feeling sorry for people who were in bad circumstances and instead thought- "make a different choice and alter your course, if you are so unhappy."
It stopped allowing a person to hurt me without in turn withholding a bit of love from them- maybe eve more than a bit.
I don't like these changes I see.
I like the reckless abandonment my heart used  to be capable of without even trying.
The forgiveness and grace that was so ready to be extended without worry of being used again or wounded again.
How can I get that back?
I am not completely sure. 
Starting today, though, when I see my heart hardened, I am going to make the opposite move and be more loving. 
When I suffer a loss, I will look forward to a new beginning and a lesson learned.
When I want to judge, I will love.
When I want to withdrawal, I will force myself to open up and love.
When I feel fear, I will ignore it, or face it and go forward anyway.
When I want to hold a grudge, I will forgive.
When I see someone else reacting with a hard heart, I will cover them in prayer and with kindness and be more nourishing.
I do not choose to continue down this path.....a soft heart, though it can be bruised, easily hurt and wounded, feels so much better than a rock hard one! This is one area of my body that no matter how much I work out, I want to remain soft! ;)