This week I have been thinking a lot about insecurity. The topic came up in a Beth Moore Bible study I am doing with some wonderful women that I am friends with.
According to the free online dictionary it means
1. Not sure or certain; doubtful:
2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe:
3. Not firm or fixed; unsteady:
4. a. Lacking stability; troubled: b. Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety:
The thing about insecurity is seems to affect everyone in some way at some point in life.
It would also seem that most of it begins in our formative years when we depend on someone and they somehow do not meet the need for which we were depending on them. But, it can happen throughout life.
Basically, since we are all human- which means none of us is perfect- we are bound to let someone else down- even when we try our best not to. But, depending on how severe the let down- or how often it happened- this could have a lot to do with just how insecure an individual becomes and/ or how long it takes them to become more secure.
The very troubling thing about insecurity is that it does nothing but destroy. I think I agree completely with Beth in that insecurity leads to JEALOUSY, ENVY, MANIPULATION, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, PROMISCUITY, UNBELIEF, and I have already added FEAR, LACK OF TRUST, and SKEPTICISM to that list.... all of these things cause breakdown in relationships we have with other people....and that break down in relationship leads to more insecurity....it seems it is somewhat of a vicious cycle...
Have you ever noticed a person who seems to be pretty secure about themselves? A lot of times those who are more insecure just cannot handle that person. They seem to have a hard time even wanting a relationship with a very secure person as it seems to scare them. Maybe because they have to face their insecurities instead of ignoring them- maybe in the light of security, they know it is bound to show just how insecure they themselves really are.
I lived a good portion of my life in insecurity. And, honestly, it can still be a struggle - insecurity has shown itself in my life in a fear of not living up to someone's expectations, or being abandoned- which has either made me choose to not even try at a relationship- or try too much! It has caused a lack of trust -formed on the basis of history with others- not with the one- which is unfair to the one....
I remember even coming in contact myself with those very secure people - which used to make me shy away and feel "not good enough"- now I LOVE to be around secure people as they inspire me!! And when you hang out with secure people, you discover that they are just like everyone else- except for the way they look at and handle mistakes and failures and fears. They are more optimistic and handle themselves and their lives as such....especially the valleys.....
Insecurity breeds breakdown. Breakdown of relationships and self-image....and often other-image. I think the best way to combat it is to look insecurity in the eye and NOT BACK DOWN.
Picture insecurity as a piece of splintery wood. As you sand it down-it takes strength and consistency to go back and forth with and against the grain of it's wood without fearing splinters! It may start off prickly and a little difficult- you may get stuck a couple times (remember that splinters can be pulled out) , but ultimately, your life will just be so much more smooth- your relationships will be so much better- you will feel so much better- not having to live with it rubbing against- and sticking you all the time!
Don't let insecurity destroy all the beauty around you- the beauty of relationship, of things available for you to try, to see, to do! Insecurity breeds- but you have the power to stop it!
