People who know me- even those who don't know me well...usually know that I am active. I am not one to just sit around relaxing for the most part. Those who know me also know that if someone I love has a problem, I do whatever I can to help. If you are sick, I can make soup. You have dirty floors? I can clean them. You need a schedule to help you get things done; I will make one with you. You need help with your kids- count on me. You need to talk; I will listen. Ask for prayer- I'm on it! You get what I am saying, I am sure. I love to serve. I love to help. On the other hand....I hate feeling helpless....like there is nothing I can "do".
I have this thing called "Mercy" at the top of my list when it comes to Spiritual Gifts . "Acts of Service" and "Quality Time" are how I show love and feel loved, if you are studying The Five Love Languages. And if you are familiar with Living Your Strengths , my top five are Achiever, Maximizer, Relator, Strategic and Responsibility. If you understand any of this, you understand that I am very much a "do-er" and that urge to DO is fueled BIG TIME when I feel compassion about a situation or person(s).
I tell you ALL of that to say this...Since we moved to Colorado, I am perhaps further away from some of the people I love than I have ever been in my life. I am experiencing something very new to me because of this. I FEEL HELPLESS! I can easily count on all my fingers and toes people I am far away from right now that my heart is longing to help. To hug, to see, to be there and do whatever they need as often as I can to help them in some way as they go through some very difficult things right now.
It actually makes me cry as I think about them and the circumstances they are in. What they are going thru. With tears in my eyes, I realize that the best thing...really the only thing I can do is pray. I have always prayed for people. I always will. But this is new to me. I am used to being able to pray and do something. I can do nothing BUT pray now....
I was in the same situation of feeling helpless when we moved here and I watched one of my children struggle with this move they did not wish to make. Though I tried to do what I could to help them adjust and feel good in the new situation they were in, I really couldn't do anything but pray. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep. Or just cried as I listened to her or thought about her.
This feeling of being helpless is difficult for me.
It reminds me though, that God wants us to be like little children when we come before Him...and one thing all little children are is helpless. We come into this world so dependent on others. I guess just as a child depends on adults for protection, food, shelter, comfort, etc., we are dependent on God. I am dependent on God. It is really HIM that takes care of those I love. Even when I DO what I can to serve them and help them...it is HIM working through me to help them...and no doubt as I sit here and pray for, think about, cry over people I love and their situations...HE is HELPING them. Maybe this time around He is just working through other people to DO...and I am sitting here learning again that it isn't always about what we are physically doing...maybe I am learning to have more faith and more trust, like a child trusts and relies on their parent when they are helpless...
I may feel Helpless, but I am not Hopeless!
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