It is crazy! Lately, I feel like I am learning to "let go" again and again....and I guess I have to admit, it is kinda freeing to let go...so much more relaxing than trying to pull back, and hold on, and redirect. It is refreshing, I guess. There are just so many things in life I really have no control at all over and I am learning that this is absolutley OK.
The most recent thing has been my oldest daughter. I love her with all my heart. She is amazing and wonderful and I completely trust her. But, at some point I wasn't lining those feelings up with action. She is a great basketball player- she "gets" the game. She has basketball I.Q. and she shoots about 50% these days from the 3 point line. She can rebound like crazy..she has some good defense and some great post moves!
I was on her, though. Not in front of everyone else...but I was constantly asking her what she was working on- trying to get her to do more- sort of pushing her. I wasn't the only one who was doing this...but, I will take responsibility for my part for sure!
I had been coaching her since she was in kindergarten and it was hard to realize that perhaps we were entering a phase of her life when basketball wasn't about "us"- but about "her". This game has reached a stage in High School level, where it has become her game. She was getting frustrated by all the extra involvement from home...she wasn't loving it anymore or having much fun for that matter.
I heard her loud and clear when she said she didn't, and then added that she didn't want to play Travel Ball anymore...OUCH! That was hard to hear. For years she had been - we had been- talking about her getting a scholarship, playing in college, trying for WNBA...and coaching. Now, suddenly within a matter of seconds, none of that was in the picture...
So, I backed down. I said, "You know, I am proud of you for having the courage to say what is on your mind and I am excited what will come as a result of your decision." I stepped back. I would drive her to a lesson, (she has a great opportunity for private lessons with a coach who was All American and played for UCONN), to and from practice, do what she needed- but what she needed would no longer be determined by me- but by her!
It has been amazing to see her take off with this. She is making decisions and practicing on her own. She is asking me to make sure we schedule those private lessons. She is now not only playing, but starting on Varsity as a freshman and she is having fun again! She has gotten her edge back, too. She has stepped up and said, "There are upper classmen who want my spot- I have to work hard to keep it." and "I am a freshman starting Varsity- I need to be a leader!"
I would not have the pleasure of witnessing her grow had I not let go!! On top of that- I get to enjoy being her supportive parent- with no other motive than just watching my baby do what she loves and have fun doing it! In the game of life that feeling could be labeled as "Nothing but net!" :)
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