SO BLESSED!

As I reflect on the year 2010, I am completely in awe.

I am so blessed! SO BLESSED!

A beautiful home with room for guests, a job that I love, health, more than enough food and clothing.

LOVE! I am simply surrounded by it!!!

I am sooooo extremely blessed by the love I have from wonderful friends...both far and near...both old and new. It is such a comfort to me! To think there are people I could comfortably go and spend real time with in many states as well as other countries! Many of these friends I count as my family. They are incredible!!

I have a beautiful extended family! Parents,sisters, brothers, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins. So many of them and such special relationships with them! Each has made a positive impact on my life.

My church! I feel like I am a part of two. One in Ohio and one in Colorado. Such a blessing to be a part of bodies of people who truly love God and people and show that love by their words AND actions!

I have the most tremendous, wonderful daughters in the entire universe! No, they are not perfect- because none of us are- but boy, have they changed my life for the better and do they EVER make me feel LOVED and PROUD!

I have a fabulous husband, who really does everything he can to provide for all of our needs and wants and then some! He teases and he tickles and he really cares for us. He is good with babies and loves kids. Not just our kids, but all kids! Logical and level-headed...he balances me. He is very loyal and a leader in all he does. It blessed my heart as I see his generosity and servant-heart outside of our home as well. It blesses me to have witnessed the growth I have seen and done with him over our last 18 years together.

I am just so blessed! Tears were coming as I wrote this out...my heart is so full. So very, very full!

Yes, there were some unpleasantries in 2010, of course. But those unpleasantries just help me to appreciate the pleasantries all the more!

2010 was such a gift and I cannot wait to watch as each day in 2011 unfolds!

Resolving to be Content

Yes, yes....this is my second time blogging in one day, I know. I told you. I have been thinking a lot, lately.

About 5-6 years ago, I was asked to speak on a topic at a Women's Retreat in Ohio based on a Max Lucado book called "Traveling Light". My talk was on being Content. It was the beginning of my realization that I have such a struggle in that area.

I am not really sure why people have the personalities they do. I know that some of it is supposed to be natural and some is formed by circumstances in your environment. I have taken personality tests, gift tests, and the Strengths test. They basically have all confirmed what I already knew about myself. I love people, but I need time alone. I am very responsible and task oriented and always see room for improvement. I don't like to waste time. I enjoy doing and being busy and moving forward.

Well, I have this inner drive. It pushes me. Motivates me. Can make me seem competitive. This innner drive can drive those around me crazy! It can make me tired... it can make you tired if you read my posts on facebook.

I seem to have this need to do more, be more, see more... I guess the common theme is more. And, for the coming year I am resolving to do less, be less, see less.... I feel in part, that all this endless searching and reaching and striving that I do can distract from the absolutely wonderful and fulfilling life that I actually already have.

I have a loving husband, four wonderful daughters, pets, a lovely home, great friends and extended family, a fabulous church, a job that I truly enjoy, the opportunity to serve in family ministry at my church, and enough responsibility that goes along with all of that-- why would I feel I needed more????

I am going to stop what I like to call "dissing my content" and start fully appreciating and fully giving myself to those things that are most important to me. I am going to be content! This is my Resolution. :) Please, don't let me get distracted!! :)

Love is in the House

Just packed up all the Christmas decorations...except the lights...something about the pretty, colorful lights at this dark time of the year brings me warm fuzzy feelings, so I just cannot put them in a box quite yet.

The house is clean- smelling like "vinegar chips" as one of our neighbor girls told me as I mopped with vinegar water! I told her that was what I was going for. I want any holiday guests coming in to think of our home as the one that smells of vinegar chips! (insert laugh) She said, "Really?" (Yes, she is a teen- and she is a blond!) "Ha! No, " I told her, I just use it because it cleans really well and it is natural." 

Anyway, so I have some time to write and it is good because my brain has been overflowing with thoughts lately. Writing helps me sort, think, express, and make sense of it all.

When I was young, I hoped that when I had a family I would be "The Koolaid Mom". You know, the one whose house all the kids' friends would come to and hang out? Yeah, that was how I wanted my house to be. We have become that house. My four daughters have friends coming in and out all the time. Several of their friends say we are their second family, they call me mom, and honestly, sometimes I feel like they are part mine! ;) I love it! I wouldn't have it any other way!

In the past few years, we have had 3 foreign exchange students during separate six- month segments of time. Two girls from Brazil and one from Italy. I grew to love each of these girls as they became a part of our family while they were here...each bringing with them a new opportunity for growth and learning to our family as well as us helping them to grown and learn in different ways while they were here- indepedent of their birth families.

Tomorrow, Shyanna's best friend from illinois, Sierra, arrives. We are soooo excited to have her spend the week with us! Then, we will turn around and say good-bye to our exchange student, Val, Tuesday morning. Wednesday, we have a FEAR FACTOR birthday party for Shyanna, and I believe we will have around 10 more girls sleeping over. Then Thursday sometime, we are expecting our new frimly (friend + family), the DeBords. They will be moving in which will be an adventure that we are very much looking forward to! That will bring us to a total of 4 adults, 8 girls, 4 dogs, and 1 cat in our lovely home. :) New meaning to the words, "Neu Crew Zoo" that some of our friends have coined us with over the years, won't it?! Hehehe

But, all of this, as crazy as it sounds...as busy as it is...makes me soooo grateful!! I am grateful people feel comfortable being here. I am grateful that people feel the love that we have for them. Today, at church, a Bible verse was shared. 1 John 4:7-12 "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

I have heard and read these verses previously, but suddenly I am feeling what they say in a whole new light. I always say that love makes the world go 'round- but I feel like I am really just learning more and more what it really looks like to be loving- it is so much more about action and so much about focussing more on others and less on self. To me, it IS what REALLY matters. Loving God and loving others....nothing matters more!!

Toby Mac is one of my favorite all time Music Artsists and this is probably one of my favorite songs of his..."Love is in the house and the house is packed. So much so, I left the back door cracked. Mama always said it's a matter of fact- when love is on the house, the house is packed." You can listen to it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGJjbQckGb4

I truly hope that our home is always packed and full of love! I am so very thankful to be filled with love for others and I know that the love I have is only there because I feel so fully God's love, mercy, and grace in my own life.

Marriage...a Dream within a Dream

I love that movie! And THAT is one of my favorite lines of all time.  The reality of it all, though, is that marriage is hard work!
I realized that to some point before I got married. I was afraid of marriage. Out of all the people I knew who were married, most were also divorced.
A little more than a year ago, I had been married for around 14.5 years. I had known my husband for 17 years. During that time, we had our fair share of ups and downs. Fortunately, we always said, we had never been down at the same time. Suddenly, all of that changed. We were both down at the same time. Neither of us were sure how this whole thing would pan out.
The truth of the matter is that I went back to my hometown and I talked to some of my family and let them know where I was in it all. The way I saw it, we had a few options...we could stay married and unhappy until our youngest was 18. We could make the decision to quit and move on. We could work it out- but it was going to be WORK, if that was what we chose.
I will never forget something about that time. I thought,again and again, about my own life. I had been a child of divorce. I thought about my kids. I thought about the work that would undboubtedly come from a divorce- all the possible unpleasantries....but more than that....I thought about what my baby brother said to me.
"Cal, when was the last time you put on a killer dress and got all dolled- up for your husband? You know, it may seem bad, but us guys like the lady on our arm to look hot." Then he said, "And, you can't quit. You are an example to the rest of us. We look up to you."
Truth in love. That was tough to here. I HAD RESPONSIBILITY. I needed to realize my part in my marriage and in the lives of people around me.
I went home. My husband and I talked....we decided to WORK at our marriage. I had left feeling like I knew what HE needed to do to help. Since then, I have repeatedly seen things I need to do to make our marriage better.
I think that is what I want to share...as once again, I am seeing that marriage is like life. Constantly changing. New needs and desires arise. We really need to be like a student of our spouse and learn what those things are constantly, and then work to meet them. The joy lies there. Meeting a need- filling a gap- completing the other in some way.
It is the Holiday season....so while we are thinking about talking about GIVING...what about concentrating on GIVING ourselves to our spouse. Put a bow on yourself!! :)

                                                                         

When the Rubber Meets the Road

All of us on on a road to somewhere...a journey if you will. Each of us has a path we choose to follow.

Sometimes, on this journey called "my life", I have gone down paths of beauty and found much joy. Sometimes, I have gone down very dark and scary paths and had to find my way to a new place. Other times, the path has seemed uneventful and fairly boring. While on the road, I have journeyed with some people, crossed paths with some, and have just walked by others.

The older I get, the more I realize how each person, as they travel down their own personal road, is valuable, is learning, growing, and experiencing what is necessary for them to become the person they were meant to be in the end. Along the road the people that we come in contact with can make a huge difference in the final outcome of our own journeys, if we let them. And, we have the capability of making a huge difference in the lives of those we come in contact with, if they let us.

I talk of loving people. I talk of wanting to help others. If this is true, then when things get ugly, when people make poor choices, when they lie or hurt me in some way as they struggle down their path- I have a choice to make. Am I going to stay and show them love - maybe tough love- but love, none-the-less, or am I going to walk away from them and turn my back on an opportunity to potentially help them head down a path that is more full of life and joy and good opportunity. After all, some bad choices down a dark road does not mean that a person is a bad person. It means they may have simply made some bad choices...and haven't we all??

I hope I am going to back my words and my thoughts about loving people with action. When the rubber meets the road, I am hoping to grab the wheel and drive- with a purpose!

Aging Gracefully?



Lately I have been struggling a bit. It's not really a "new" issue for me...but one that I have felt more irritated by and more vocal about since I have had 4 daughters.

I was always pretty athletic- when I was in school, I was never "overweight" but I was also never happy with the way my body looked. There was always something that I looked at and thought to myself..."This could look better." Most of the time it was my stomach...sometimes my legs, maybe my broken nose, at other times...freckles, oh and how 'bout that red hair?? However, I always liked my eyes! I sort of bought into the images society and mass media put before me about what beauty was and how ladies should look.

As I grew older, I had children. 4 in 5 years! My body became everyone else's for quite some time and I was honestly too tired and too busy to even really realize what it looked like. Before I knew it, I had not been pregnant for about 9 years and I had become 30 pounds or so overweight. (Truly overweight by medical standards). I was having knee pain and foot pain and realized I had not been tkaing care of myself in all the blissful busyness I was enjoying with my family and friends. I looked in the mirror and I saw fat and flab and thought to myself, "Wow...I thought these areas of my body were bad when I was in Highscool- what was I smoking??" The truth was, I was really in pretty good shape back then...muscular, and active...a far cry from where I was at that point and time.

I began working out again and realized what a big part of my life that had always been and how much I really missed it...and as playing with my kids, going up and down stairs and playing basketball got easier again...I realized how IMPORTANT it was! My knee and foot pain lessoned and I was toning and tightening and losing weight and inches.

As my face got thinner, I began to notice something new...WRINKLES!! "What? Where did those appear from so suddenly??" So, now, this is where I sit...I don't want to be vain. I don't want to buy into what society says looks good. I want to raise my girls up in such a way that this sort of thing isn't an issue for them. But, really?? How did my eyes get to looking so OLD???

Aging gracefully is probably just as much about how gracefully we accept the things we cannot change and make the most of what we still have as it is anything...This is a new area for me...the one thing on my body that I was always happy with is changing...I have teen agers...I am almost 40. "Should I gain weight again so my face is more full and then the wrinkles will be more smooth? No...my health is most important." Haaaaahhhh.....continual change causing me to continually grow...that's one thing I know will never change. :)