I woke up early and felt like this all must have been a dream....
Waves tossing, thoughts crossing.
Head spinning, mind racing.
Nothing is guaranteed. Is all the sin catching up to me?
I rely on grace, love, mercy. Has it run out?
When she told me I DID have a lump- it made it real- it wasn't just me. I AM human. I AM frail.
Then, there was more. I had no idea THAT was in store. What do you mean there is something else?
How can that be? How can that be?
I am on my knees. I am on my knees. God, have mercy on me.
You have blessed me so much, I don't want to give that all up.
I know I have taken things for granted. I know I have been less than thankful more than some of the time.
But, the reality is that I AM THANKFUL. I AM BLESSED.
I feel this opression. This finger pointing at me telling me to cower...to run...to sink...
I tell this finger- "NO". I cannot give in. I will not give in. I am strong. I am going to turn away from fear- or maybe face it- and I am going to overcome.
"This is just a lump. That is just a thing. My God has my back. My God loves me. My God will give me peace. YOU cower."
Maybe this was just what I needed. Maybe I just needed to understand more fully how precious life is- how much I am loved and how much I love.
I am on my knees. I am feeling so human...so frail...so uncertain....But somehow, when I get back on my knees I feel strength. I feel peace. I feel courage. I feel His love. I feel His mercy. I feel His grace.
2 comments:
Praying for you!
Hey, it's Tim's brother, Jeremy. He just told us about it this morning. So, we're going to pray, here goes.
"Dad, thank you so much for the gift that is Calico and her family. We appreciate everything that she is and we know how much you love her.
Life is full of challenges, and we know that this is just one more of those opportunities for her to become closer to you. We pray that she takes this opportunity by the horns and, if she hasn't discovered it already, that she finds her destiny that you have set aside for her.
You made her a fighter Dad, and we pray that this attack from the enemy does not find its mark, but rather that it stirs up her fire. We pray that she chooses to fight.
Most of all, we pray that these 'lumps' are reduced to nothing more than a scare and do not turn into a health risk. We pray that you make her healed and whole again from any sustained damage, and that this doesn't become a catastrophe, but rather this becomes an epiphany about her relationship with you.
We thank you so much for her, and we appreciate you giving us the opportunity and the privilege of knowing such a wonderful creation and daughter of yours.
In Christ's name, Amen."
There you go. Covered. Message me when you get off of your Facebook fast, okay?
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