Incredible High!

I had been going through some rocky times lately.

Wondering about this world. The people in it. The crazy things that happen here.

In the midst of this, I was offered the opportunity to hike up into the Rockies - to the summit of the tallest peak in the Rockies- Mount Elbert.

The journey was beautiful. It was difficult. There were twists and turns and ups and downs and sometimes it felt really hard to breathe and sometimes the wind was blowing in a way that helped to push me forward and sometimes it was pushing against me, adding to the resistance that was sometimes compounded by the burning sensation in the muscles of my body.

However, each moment through the journey, I was compelled as I thought about the love of God. How creative He is. How it was nothing short of amazing that I could be on this incredible journey and was able to press on toward the goal.

As I took in all he beauty that surrounded me, I felt so much love. Cute little animals, pretty flowers or were they weeds?- it doesn't matter- they were pretty. All kids of rocks and wonderfully puffy, white clouds and all shades of browns, blues, grays, greens and the sound of rushing water and the sight of still waters. Encounters of friendly people- each one with their own reason for being up there- but sharing the common goal of reaching the summit. I had a long-time friend with me. And even though we were in nature and enjoying all that it had to offer- I was thankful still for technology as we probably would not be making this journey together had it not been for the technology we shared. It was technology that allowed us to capture in both video and still picture, the incredibly beauty of the breath-taking (literally) journey that we were on. So, yeah. I felt love. Like every little detail was taken care of. Everything had been worked out. And everything was amazing.

It was challenging. Especially looking up at a false summit and seeing how steep a journey it would be and choosing to take that challenge knowing that once we made it there, we would have another steep journey ahead- one we just could not yet see. But isn't that just like life? Sometimes we are faced with a challenge and once we overcome that challenge, there before us sits the next one.

                                   

We press on. We continue the climb. We feel the burn. We get breathless. We work.

                                            

The last 20 minutes were incredible and this last part of the journey is what made it all so worthwhile for me. The last 20 minutes, when you look back and can see how far you have come and look ahead knowing that you don't really feel like taking those little baby steps all the way up to that next level.... but that IS why you started this whole journey in the first place....so you determine to finish!

This was the place where people were coming down the hill you were heading up and they were smiling at you and saying, "You can do it!" "Only about 20 more minutes." They are almost glowing and so genuine in their enthusiasm and so positive in their encouragement... and you know you CAN do it!

OH MY GOSH!!!!  We reached our goal. We got to the summit of Mount Elbert and if I thought anything was beautiful on the journey up, it cannot compare to the amazing beauty my eyes beheld from up above it all!!

The majesty! So close to the clouds and still on the ground. Looking out to what seemed like as far as the eye could possibly see.....looking down at what seemed to be so far away and yet was a journey we just made! I thought to myself- this is How Wide, How High, How Deep the love of God is for me. As amazing and wonderful He is- He created all of this...... and He created me. He has a purpose and a plan and He is SOOOOO much more than good and I can TRUST Him!

It was an INCREDIBLE HIGH being up there. My mind cannot escape it still, two days later. I close my eyes and I see it and I feel it and I breathe it in! I am thankful. I am thankful I could make the journey. Thankful FOR the journey. Thankful for reaching the destination and now thankful that it will forever be in my mind.

This Great Nation

Today I read a post that has helped me work through my many emotions.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/ilike9news/posts/10151065482181077

This post helped to remind me, as have many of the stories of the people at the movie theater in Aurora, that our great nation truly is made up of heros.

Heros are those who LOVE others and are willing to lay down their own lives because of that love.

Our country was formed by these heros and our fabric is still woven with them.

People who knew the importance of LIFE, LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. That ALL MEN  are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.....

Our nation will not sit back and let any sort of attack on our rights cause us to back into a fearful corner.

Our nation will thrive and continue to reach out to eachother with LOVE. We will continue to fight terrorism with strength, courage and love and with our RIGHTS of LIFE, LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

We will protect eachother, fight for eachother and our freedoms so that this great nation will continue to be the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

Judge Not

This "Movie Theater Massacre" as they are calling it, has caused a great deal of discussion in our home with our four children ages 11, 13, 15 and 16.
The big debate has been mainly over two areas... and one of them has not been a debate as much as it seemed to "shock" a couple of kiddos.
Debate is mostly over sentencing of the man who comitted this heinous crime. Death penalty. Life in prison. The big question is, "How can we decide to take a life? It is not for us to judge."
This is how I always felt. I feel differently this time around, though.
I'm tired. I am tired of people doing this.

I told my daughter who seems to be the most against the death penalty that I have always felt like her about it until recently. I DO know where she is coming from.
However, I now am beginning to look at situations like this and say, "When there are two kids who are planning on egging someone's house, and one kid knows they will be getting a pretty severe spanking after and the other knows their parent will just yell, "I can't believe you did that! I told you not to!" Chances are, the one who MAY NOT do it will be the one who knows they will get spanked.
Are we doing the same thing with these people who decide to go in and randomly shoot innocent people? Are we, as the authority, making it easy for them to decide that it is ok because they know they will get life in prison instead of death?
I don't know.
Revenge is mine, says the Lord..... By sentencing someone to any degree we are determining punishment. Without punishment and consequence, there would be chaos.
I DO know that it is not for me to judge where the person will spend eternity! I explained to my daughter that I believe this man could have a come to Jesus moment, repent and be forgiven and go to heaven for eternity. I explained that I am praying for everyone involved in this- everyone from victims and their families to authorities to the rest of us and even the murderer. I said, "Everyone needs to know God; he is no exception."
The same daughter who was concerned about me judging was surprised that this man may end up in heaven. She wondered why she tries to behave and be good if people can do things like this and still go. My answer- that is the mystery of God's love. He is so merciful and extends grace to us all.
Only He knows what is in our heart and what really motivates us. He knows when we truly are sorry for something and when we are faking it. He knows if we truly love Him, or we don't. But, we are all created by Him and He loves us and wants so much for us to love Him and to love others. But, He won't force himself on anyone. (If he had to, it wouldn't be sincere, anyway...)
Still, I ponder this whole death penalty way of thinking I currently have. It is new for me.......

What is Going On?- Where is my Bubble?

I am struggling right now.
I write as a way to help me get everything out. To clear my head. Therapy, I guess.
So, today I need to write.
Last Friday morning, I woke up to text and fb messages from friends and family from miles away asking if my family and I were OK. If we happened to be at the Movie Theater in Aurora the night before. I was groggy, barely able to completely open my eyes and I was completely unaware of why anyone would be asking me any of those questions so early in the morning.
I found out as I turned on the news and logged onto my computer.
I was in quite possibly the worst mood of my life that day- Friday, July 20, 2012.
EVERYTHING made me mad. Things that normally wouldn't matter became a big deal and it seemed like I found it almost impossible to look at anything or anyone in a positive light.
Today is Sunday (three days later) and I find myself still struggling.
SHIFT-
I have always heard things like, "Callico, you live in a bubble." "You are one of the most positive people I know." "You are one of the most non-judging people I have ever met." "You are naive and too trusting."

SHIFT-
I want to buy a gun for the first time in my life. I AM SOOOO ANGRY THAT PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN JUST GO AROUND AND HURT AND KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE. I want to stop them. I want to protect those I love and those who are not prepared to protect themselves.
SHIFT
I am reminded of the shooting at Chardon High School about 5 months ago. I remember thinking then, "How can our kids go to school and learn and be kids when this kind of crap happens?" I remember praying. A lot. For my friends, for their kids who were at the school that day. For the people who were left behind when those kids lost their lives.
I remember even at that point, though, having some compassion in me.
I remember feeling bad for the kid who did it.
Right now, I don't have that compassion for the shooter.

I liked the bubble I have always lived in and I am HIGHLY UPSET that someone seems to have popped it or at least put a gigantic hole in it! I AM PISSED!! I am also a little worried. What has happened to me?

Climb Every Mountain!

                                                                   
Sing it with me... The Sound of Music's - "Climb Every Mountain, Ford every stream, Follow every rainbow, 'till you find your dream..."

I love a good challenge! It's who I am. I'm the girl who can't help but run faster when someone on the treadmill next to me is "beating me", even if I said I was going to take it easy in my work out for the day.

I'm the girl who doesn't believe in the word "can't".

I know where there is a will there is a way. I know there is always room for improvement. I know it feels great to check something off the list and say, "I did it!"

I also realize there are some mountains you simply choose NOT to climb. Pick your battles, so to speak. Decide which mountain you are gonna die on. Let's face it, some things just aren't worth the battle!

I have come across a couple things in my life that I have had to let go of as a result of this. There are a couple things in my life that I have decided are worth the effort and fight, as well.

Sometimes, it isn't just a thing. Sometimes it's a person- a relationship. Fight or flight?

THIS, however, coming up in a short 13 days, will mark the FIRST ACTUAL MOUNTAIN I will climb!! I cannot tell you how excited I am about this!! A long-time friend facebooked me to say he and his family are coming to Colorado and want to spend some time, hang out - enjoy the great outdoors. That, in and of itself was good to hear. A couple days ago, though, he shared a goal of hiking up PIKES PEAK, and he asked if I would like to join him!

This is no small feat! http://www.trailsandopenspaces.org/hiking-pikes-peak.html
People can die or get lost up there!! We will journey over 12 miles and reach an elevation of 14,115 feet! We will journey up the Barr Trail....

                                                              

However, this "hiking" in the mountains is something I LOVE. My friend is an ex-Army man and so he has some experience that I know will make us more safe! I am in descent shape and live at about 5,000 feet above sea level, and will continue to train until we make the treck on Friday the 27th of July.

What stirs inside me is the climb- I know it won't be easy. It will challenge me physically and mentally. But, when we make it to the top, what a glorious feeling!!! CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN.... 'TILL YOU FIND YOUR DREAM!