I recently talked with the girls in my youth group and told them how sometimes we keep things in because we feel like people will judge us or abandon us or reject us. There is something that has bothered me for quite a while and I have kept quiet about it. But, since it bothers me, I am sure it also bothers others- so I am going to speak about it! :)
What we often forget is that as human beings, we all struggle with the same kinds of things...
One huge struggle I have had when I decided to become a "stay at home homeschooling mom".... (Which if you have made a decision to do that, you KNOW staying home is a definite LIE!) is this..... a feeling of being around people all the time- but being lonely and a feeling of being judged.....
The thing is, we get so busy preparing our lessons, designing our own curriculum (I can't stay in the lines- so the only thing I have ever really stuck with as an already made curriculum is Math.... as without the curriculum for it, my kids would only know what I know of it- which is very little!) and then implementing. So, it really is a pretty much full time job- (which almost no one realizes - again, unless they have done it) that you do not receive money for. In fact, you may end up in the hole more often than not as you decline a pay check in order to meet certain goals you have in mind for your family which you find more important than money....
Anywho.... so, you are often misunderstood.
People say things like- "Well, you don't work."- "You don't have anyone to answer to...."- "You get to stay home all day."
And, honestly, there is absolutely no point in trying to explain to them that they are wrong and have no clue!! You DO have someone to answer to- What if your kids turn out stupid? What if they are behind everyone else? There ARE requirements! (Some states more than others- but in most, your kids have to be tested and/or their work examined by a certified teacher- thereby making you accountable).
And because you ARE home more than a lot of people- guess what? You get to do the laundry, the cleaning, the shopping, cooking, taxi driving, making appointments, keeping appointments, bill paying and just about anything that is part of running a home simply because you are there- and so is everyone else so everything is always getting dirty or cluttered and unorganized! Who cares if you are overwhelmed? Overloaded? Finding no time for yourself?
Yes, of course this is your choice.... but would it hurt another human being to just TRY to understand that it is a JOB??? MANY JOBS? Would it hurt another human being to admit that you, too, have pressures and obstacles and you get tired and sometimes feel like you are in it all alone...?
Many of us who choose to home school even have had at least part time jobs outside the home on top of all of this.... I know for me, that was mostly the case over the last 13 years since we decided to home school..... and I still always found time to volunteer..... but yeah, since I don't get paid to volunteer or home school- those aren't considered jobs by many.... even if I put every bit as much effort into them as I would something I did get paid for.....
I am not asking for a pat on the back!! Merely not to be judged incorrectly by those who have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what my life is like. If you have never done it- how could you know???
I have, on the other hand, had full time jobs outside the home before having kids. I have even been a student in college and held a full time job or a full time and part time job on the side at one time. I could make a judgement on which I felt was easier for me to handle out of the three..... but I won't judge what would be easier for you, as we are all different.
Please, if you don't know what you are talking about- and you don't if you haven't done it--- SHUT UP! ;)
That is all.
Thank you!
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