The Greatest of What Remains…..

These three remain…. Faith, Hope and Love.

Faith Hope and Love can remain - it's a choice, if you ask me, but possible for them to remain no matter what. 

Sometimes life is complicated. Sometimes life is difficult. Sometimes life is easy. Sometimes life is wonderful! Sometimes life is absolutely awful.

But, here is the deal. YOU CAN HOLD ON TO FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE. Those three things can remain - should you chose to allow them no matter what is happening in life!

The greatest of the three? LOVE. 

WHY?

Love is stepping aside, getting yourself out of the way, focussing on other.

Love is what you can do and be to someone else to help keep them hoping and having faith.

But, love is not about you. 

LOVE IS THE GREATEST because it is better to give than to receive.

LOVE IS THE GREATEST because it is something that you can give when you don't have anything else to give.

LOVE IS THE GREATEST because it is contagious and once you give it, you catch it back- or at least feel a little something from it that keeps you a bit warm and fuzzy!

My best advice if you need a pick me up? Stop sulking about yourself, you situation, your sickness, your predicament, your lack and start LOVING OTHERS!

My Favorite Things About This Guy, Jesus…….

So, based on my upbringing, I have always told my kiddos the truth about Santa and the reality that Christmas Day isn't REALLY the birthday of Jesus, but when we choose to celebrate it. (Much the same as how we usually celebrate our own birthdays on a convenient day- not the actual day of birth.)

I have also been always honest about the story of His birth. Yes, Shepherds were probably told first. God is cool like that, he often uses those people that others consider the under-dog or slightly under par according to society. I think it may be because often times, they realize they don't have much to lose in following Him- but, I also think it shows the proud that it's a good thing to depend on God and not just yourself, because the really cool things happen then!

The wise men? Let's be serious…. sometimes, they stand alone in another part of the house away from the Nativity at our house because they weren't there when he was born. Good heavens! There were no airplanes back then. They probably  showed up when Jesus was a toddler- the journey was too far!

Anyway, what I really have always appreciated as I started looking at the story of WHO this guy Jesus was on earth, some things have really stood out to me. These things have caused me to love him more than I had before- because, hey! He's God and man and CHOSE to be in RELATABLE.

First, He was born into a working class family. Born in a stable of all places where virtually ANYONE could come to him. (Right off the bat- he was available to people- not in some ritzy, high class building where only a few were welcome….) To a woman who got pregnant OUTSIDE of marriage… (gasp)….. to a YOUNG mother (teen)…… He was a child to a STEP-DAD and had only "HALF-SIBLINGS". (Can you imagine all the people talking about this family behind their backs and under their breath?)

As an adult he chose to be HOMELESS….. Have you ever met anyone who CHOSE that life? (I know one person….it takes a very humble spirit.)

He hung out with and talked to people that society discounted or hated and he chose to love them! He was a RULE BREAKER whenever it came to rules; he chose a person over being right or being thought of as right by others.

Yeah, this Jesus, stole my heart when I realized how he could have chosen a different life when he lived here with us…. but he chose the common life. The life that would make him more relatable to more people. I love that about him. He didn't come for the select few- he came FOR ALL.

Blurred Lines, Miley and Us......

After reading many comments and a couple articles about the VMA Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke performance I decided to watch. Here is the warning.... STOP READING this if you are easily offended. I am going to be "thinking out loud" and it could get ugly.

All these people are disgusted with Miley. Others are outraged that Robin Thicke is married and has a son and allowed young Miley to move on him like that.Others feel that they can teach their own kids a lesson from her behavior or his...... and maybe you can. But, I want to know will you first try to learn from it yourself?

BLURRED LINES. That is EXACTLY where our society lives! You have to be a certain age to have a facebook account.... but do you REALLY? You have a dress code you are to follow at school- but it's not really "enforced".  Another human being tells you that what you are doing is hurting them in some way- their feelings, their body, whatever.... do you REALLY have to stop? You have to be 21 to buy alcohol- SERIOUSLY? Our food is all approved and safe for us to eat by our government- REALLY? Is that why some of the same things we allow here are banned in other countries? A woman gets raped and then has to turn around and feel added guilt and shame because people insinuate or just come right out and say it's her fault because of how she was dressed?

I have heard adults tell 2 and 3 year old girls they are "sexy". I have been told by 14-19 year olds how common it is for all kids their age to "grind" which, for the record is what it sounds like- moving as though you are having sex while wearing clothes- dry-humping all in some big pile up of a circle....and guess what? Adults are right there allowing it. I have seen little boys applauded for getting girlfriends- and the more the better. 

Our media promotes sex everywhere. Not just the act- but the act of selling yourself as sex- being hot, staying up all night to get lucky. What is that? Lucky at what? You know you are worthwhile if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You know you have value if you can squeeze into a size...... How popular are you? That's what really matters, you know. How many "likes" can you get? How many "followers"  and "friends". Is that what REALLY matters in life?

So, we allow a young lady to come out and sing about doing what she wants- she can't stop and she won't stop and she is not alone.... she says "we" because she is right. It is COMMON! It's NOT just Miley Cyrus. It's not just Robin Thicke. (Remember Brittney Spears? Lindsey Lohan?) How about the kids at your local high school with underwear hanging out with their main goal in life being how many girlfriends they can get? Or the butt cheeks hanging out for the world to see? Or cleavage exposed so much so that you fear a nipple may actually show? Do you know that our Super Bowl boasts the biggest pro-football event and biggest SEX TRAFFICKING event in our country?????

Where do you think our kids are learning that all of this is ok. Not just ok but good and acceptable.......normal.

So, Miley comes out  in a teddy bear costume (representing youth and child-likeness) then RIPS IT OFF to a skin toned colored bra and panty set and then we put her on a stage with a man who is about to sing a song about how even if you are a good girl, he knows you "want it" and your gonna "get nasty"...... and what are the exact moves you are thinking they may come up with????????????????????? Um, I'm sorry, but I am pretty sure someone is in charge about what is on TV still.... funny how the next morning it wasn't acceptable to show on TV because "kids are around". Where were the kids the night before???/ WHAT THE HECK? Are we THAT STUPID!!!????

BLURRED LINES? Get a grip, people. Quit getting all pissy because the exact thing we as a society ALLOW ON A DAILY BASIS is done publicly every once in a while in front of TONS of people instead of just a few! So, you are going to shame one person and act so disgusted when you LIVE in these BLURRED LINES DAILY?! 

Now, let me say this- for me.... this has become a REAL wake up call. I teach fitness and I listen to words of songs closely for my classes as I do not want to be responsible for bringing crap lyrics to young lives. However, I liked the catchy tunes associated with both of these songs, but never took the time to look at what they were actually saying......Now that I have, I will NEVER allow them to be played at my house or in my car again- it's a given that they won't be in any of my classes, either. Why would I?? What kind of message do they send? Absolutely NO KIND of message I want anyone to associate with me. 

This has been a wake up call for me to be sure that I don't just fall unaware into the blurred lines that surround our culture and society today. Maybe more people need to put some glasses on so things can clear up and not be so blurry any more..... just a thought....... 

Steal Kill and Destroy

I know many people who are not Christians, but they would still agree with this concept.

The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy.

A thief takes without thought of giving.

What a thief takes can be different in different situations and for different people; but, believe this- they will destroy and kill if they are allowed. 

Destroy and kill relationships, happiness, trust, love, hope, joy, peace.

The thief will not always be up front about it, either. 

But, thieves are everywhere and they mean only to take for themselves without thought of how they have affected the victim(s) of their schemes.

Most thieves are pretty good at what they do. They are usually liars. Sometimes they are so good at lying, even they believe themselves.....

Take the illness that feeds on it's victim trying to convince him or her that they don't stand a chance. Making them ill and zapping their joy.

Look at the bully at school who belittles the other children- putting them down, trying to make themselves look better by making others feel worse.

How about the boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn't really love their mate- but loves the fact that they can get what they want from them pretty much when they want and don't have to give much if anything back to the relationship so they stay in it and keep just saying the words to make the other person stay under false hope.

What about the parent who just can't let their child become who they were made to become- doing what they love and are passionate about because they demand the child go in a direction the parent dreams about.

Or maybe it's the friend who just is so insecure that they are constantly putting pressure on everyone around them to be who they want them to be so they feel safe. If they see their friends having relationships with others, or do well at something, they feel threatened and so they get upset and the friendship is attacked.

Have you thought about drugs and alcohol and they way it makes a person feel better for a few minutes or hours and then leaves them lower than they had been?

I believe we often ignore or forget that we live in a spiritual realm. We feel like our fights are between us and another person. Or us and God. The reality is that a spiritual war is raging and it is always present. To not believe in good and evil is to not believe in right and wrong, day and night..... 

The real thief the devil prowls around like a lion waiting to devour. He is a liar and the father of lies. 

In my mind, he is behind these battles above. Not a person..... yes, he may plant some seeds in a way that makes a person believe a lie and follow the wrong path. Yes, he may convince you that you are defeated. He may work through a person.....an illness......drugs or alcohol.....but the key to battle is always to KNOW YOUR ENEMY.

If you know that his job is to steal kill or destroy..... then, be on  the look-out for that happening in your life!

If you feel like your life or the things in life that you enjoy are being taken-  relationships, happiness, trust, love, hope, joy, peace- then you can be pretty sure that the enemy is scheming against you! If you are feeling defeated, like giving up, like a complete failure with no hope and no love- you are being played!! DO NOT let the schemes of the thief work against you in your life! FIGHT BACK!

Sometimes, it means you have to totally turn away from a situation or even the person. Sometimes it means you need a support group. Sometimes it means you need to get help and guidance by way of counseling. Sometimes it means standing up to a person or a situation and doing all that you can to communicate and gain understanding together. 

But recognizing what is going on is the first step to fixing the problem. So not allow your life to be stolen killed or destroyed! Do not allow a thief to have an easy job! Choose to recognize, work to conquer and keep away!

Day 7. On the Island

Friday morning, June 14th, I woke up feeling just a bit out of sorts. Not as bad as I had the morning before. But still, not as good as I usually do! 

None-the-less, today was our last day. Today we would go to an island and relax a bit before heading home.

We again were up early and ready to go. I think this time it was leaving by 6am! Funny thing is I hear my daughter, Tanise' alarm go off so we all started getting up. One of the girls in our room, Allie, said, "Beach day! Time to get up!" (Chipper is the tone I would use to describe it.) I looked at my phone and it said 4:30! UGH! We were up an hour too early! Back to bed and a sound sleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow!

We headed to the lobby, to the bus, and then to the water taxi. As soon as we boarded the water taxi, I felt a sense of relaxation I hadn't felt all week. I love the water.....it was beautiful! Blue sky, clear water and white clouds. The wind as we surfed the water was amazingly appreciated by me after all of the heat and sweat I had experienced through the week. We were heading for a day of fun!

Snorkeling.... This was something that amazed me! I was afraid to go under and try yo breathe through that little contraption.... but as soon as I put my head under and did it, I felt relaxed. Relaxed from floating peacefully in the warm water surrounding me and relaxed from the scenery, which made me feel as though I were in an aquarium. The rhythmic sound of my breathing was soothing and I began to think it was probably similar to what my babies felt in my womb while I was pregnant...... PEACE. I felt total peace in that water.

Sting Rays! We later swam with them. It was pretty cool, although, I never got far enough under to touch one. I enjoyed watching them under my feet and attempting to go far enough under to get a feel......

Lunch at a restaurant. We still had no ice in our glasses- but it was nice to sit in a chair at a table to eat. All week we sat in pews in the church and had foam containers..... this was more of a back to normal feeling for me! Funny thing, we had 11 people from our group at this restaurant and we ALL ordered BURGERS! I guess we missed our American food, as well! 

Time to walk around the island and do some shopping. This was fun and I witnessed just how good my second Daughter, Tanise and a young woman named Allie were at haggling! I wanted to buy a Hammock Chair for our family and the man told me it was something like $100. These two got him down to $35! Nice! I appreciated the hand made items being sold there. I knew that purchasing them was giving us a nice souvenir and helping some of the locals' businesses. Thankfully, a generous person gave us a little money to do some shopping on our trip and we got hand made jewelry, a couple small carvings, bags (girls love their bags, you know.) and now the hammock seat! 

A little team meeting and recap of the week. We got to hear from 2 individuals about each person in the group. Some encouragement from our peers! How nice! After, we went for dinner (another restaurant) and this time a buffet! Fish and Chicken and Shrimp and side dishes! Cold Lime drink! YUM! Our last meal together. This week had flown by! There were a few staff members from Praying Pelican that I wanted to share something encouraging with. I appreciate them leaving home and comforts again and again to help lead groups like ours in unfamiliar things in an unfamiliar place. We spent a week, but they would be spending their summer there with group after group.

One last game of Silent Football under a canopy of black sky and a Palm leaf roof over our heads outside the hotel.

This hotel had GOOD AIR CONDITIONING! I went in as soon as we arrived and turned it to the lowest setting! It was pretty clean- no ants marching around.....a carpeted floor and solid tiles....no holes in the ceiling, no exposed wires..... we were living a more comfortable life here.... more of the life we were all used to before this week. It was amazing how much I was appreciating it!

Outside of our hotel:

Entrance to our room:

Yes, this life was more like the life a tourist leads while in Belize.... a little blinded by the life of most natives of the place. 

If I lived here, I think I would want to be a captain or ship mate on a boat and take people snorkeling all day...... 

On death and dying......

One of life's tragedies is that moment in time when lives are separated without our permission or desire.

We were made for relationship and to love and to live.

In the beginning, when God created man, the plan was that there would be no pain or suffering or sickness.

The plan was that the life created would live forever.

In my mind, this is exactly why death is so painful.... so hard to deal with. Because it simply wasn't supposed to be this way.

Personally, I have had several deaths happen in my life. I will list them simply to be relate-able. Nothing is uncommon to us as people. We sometimes need to get over ourselves and realize that we are never alone in our journey. There is always someone out there with a similar story to our own. 

7 years old- Grandpa- he had been not well ever since I can remember. 10.5 years old- best friend was suddenly hit and killed while riding her bike by a drunk driver- she had asked me to go on that bike ride..... not sure of my age- but some time after this, my Great Grandma died- she actually was not fully responsive when she started moving her hand like she was writing- they gave her a pen and paper and she wrote the date that she ended up passing on. Middle School- my uncle who had just gone off to college that year was hit by a train and killed- I loved this guy- he was always helping me with basketball and being silly! In my early 30's my best friend from high school was stabbed to death by her estranged husband and then he also killed himself. A lovely lady who worked for me at our church passed away after complications from an optional surgery- leaving behind a husband and four young daughters. My niece- who was only 9 years old and only 12 days younger than my oldest daughter was hit by an SUV and killed. Devastating and familiar as I looked back on my own childhood loss. Both of my grandmother's passed away- I was extremely close to them both and this was a time that I literally cried myself to sleep several nights and woke up again in the morning, crying. My great uncle passed as well and he was such a blessing to my family. A lady that I had in some of my fitness classes and seemed to be bubbly and have a zest for life- took her own life- leaving behind two children and family and friends.....

Now, I  have learned something about death through all of these deaths....

One thing is that a cloud does not hang over my head because I have lost loved ones. This happens to all of us. We all lose loved ones.

Another thing is that every person handles loss in their own way. People need to have the freedom to grieve and be able to be loved through it.

Also, do not take life or the people in your life for granted. You really have no idea how long or how short your time with them is going to be.

It is absolutely normal to feel guilt. Feeling guilty that you are still here and they are gone. Feeling like there was something you could have done to make it not happen. Feeling like you didn't spend enough time..... guilt will be felt and it is normal.

Anger is a natural feeling. As I said earlier- this is not the way it was originally intended, so of course, you are going to be mad. Something was taken from you- a relationship. A life that had plans and dreams was ct short of seeing all of those plans and dreams achieved.

Denial- it's hard to believe this actually happened. You expect to see them and talk to them.....they can't be gone.

Sadness.... your heart is going to ache and feel like it is breaking. Again, death is not how life should be. With loss  comes pain and heart ache. Cry. It's ok. 

Feeling alone- sometimes you feel like no one understands your emotions. Sometimes you feel alone in death. You are not alone. I felt alone in death and went to a program called Grief Share. There, I realized just how common my feelings were- how alone I wasn't......

Eventually, we accept death- which isn't to say it is now easy or that we no longer feel the other emotions or cry....It's just to say that we have come to peace with the fact that death has happened, we realize we are going through this thing called the grieving process. We realize we are still alive and need to keep on living - even though it might feel awkward or wrong. If we really think about it, we realize the person we lost, would WANT us to keep on going. To live.

Sometimes, people need help going through this process- they get stuck. Depressed. They may try to take their own life to join the other. If a person gets stuck, GET HELP!! Medication, counseling and a good support group are imperative. There is no shame in needing help. As I said before- we are created for relationship- we need to be here for each other.

Even if you don't need professional help- it is so wise to seek support from others. In life, especially in hardship, it is so comforting to know you are not alone. Even if it means just finding someone who will stay up all night with you when you can't sleep for a while..... having another human being there WITH you can make a world of difference.

One really big thing that helps me to get through the loss of a loved one is my faith. I believe I will see them again. I believe that their life lives on through those they touched here on earth and also in eternity. I don't claim to understand why suffering and death happen other than to say we live in an imperfect world- but I have a HOPE that the way things were originally set up to be, will be again..... 

Another thing I realize, have experienced and know to be true is that you have a choice. After you have been through loss, you can use it to be of help to others. Compassion can form and you can understand in a way that others cannot what kinds of feelings and thoughts they may be experiencing.... Don't allow your heart to become hardened. 

This is what I call beauty for ashes.... it's a part of my story and it can be a part of yours. Use the bad things, the hard things, the ugly things, the sad things you have gone through in life to be of help to others. I am convinced that the losses I have experienced personally have helped me to be a person who cries with those whose hearts are breaking. To hug and hold up those whose knees are too weak to stand alone. To laugh whole-heartedly with the joyous. To understand that each of us has a story and a journey and to live and let live and truly appreciate life.

Day 6, Thursday, June 13th

The night had been extremely difficult for me. My stomach was crampy and nauseated throughout. I woke up, took my shower and then laid back down again and fell asleep. The girls got up and I lay there thinking, "This is our last day here and I feel like crap! How am I going to do this?"

So, about 10 minutes before we had to meet in the lobby of the hotel, I got up. We had to walk on this day as our bus driver, Vinson, was driving the other group to the water taxi for their day of R&R. We were up in the mountains and the hills were steep. I could do it. I'm a fitness instructor- let's see how I do in the heat exerting energy while feeling sick.

I lagged. Took my time. Kayla walked with me. She mentioned that she was kind of glad I wasn't feeling 100% as seeing me have so much energy and doing so much was somehow making her not feel as positive about what she was giving or doing on the trip. Something like that. I didn't take offense. I actually understand it. I have been told similar things before. Sometimes, people are somehow intimidated (not sure if that's the best word) by a person with my personality. I am a "go-getter". I make lists and check them off. I give as much as I can to whatever I am doing, or to me, it isn't worth doing. I don't care what other people choose to do- but I somehow can cause others (unintentionally to feel like less- or be intimidated by). I was once a Strength's Coach for Gallop. This Coaching helps people see the way they "do life" in a positive light. It isn't uncommon for people to hear negative comments from others who don't understand how they operate and when you can get an appreciation for how you operate and how others do it helps teams work together, people feel better about how they are and helps people take on roles and jobs that best suit them. My top five themes (which make up how I do life) are "Achiever"- list making and checking off then starting a new list, "Maximizer"- make good better or best- don't bother if it isn't going to happen or isn't a strength of mine- let someone else, "Relator"-relating to people- do well one on one or small groups, "Strategic"- always thinking "what if" looking at possibilities, "Responsibility"- If I say I am going to do it, I am going to... or I will kill myself trying! Now, don't get me wrong. I also relax and play with the same passion and conviction as I work. When I take a day off- I DO NOTHING. AT. ALL. When I play, I PLAY HARD! I say all this to say- no matter how you are made- you have been made in such a way to do whatever is in front of you to do in a unique way! Being different from another isn't bad- it's actually very good as it helps give well-roundedness to the world or project and more completion than if it was only one way accomplished from one viewpoint or one standard or one way of doing it. BE YOU! YOU are NEEDED!! :)


Kayla and I stop at the store right before the church and she buys me a ginger ale. I am trying to feel good and have energy!



So, we get there.... I am giving it the best shot I have. I DO NOT WANT TO MISS THE LAST DAY!
However, I couldn't eat. I was forcing pieces of breakfast fruit down my throat little by little- but it was VERY little. Ginger ale....that was good. Canada Dry- just like at home. I helped put the frames together for VBS. This require little from me. I wouldn't help finish painting today. I would keep laying low and see how far I could push myself. I soon found myself exhausted. I would succumb to it from time to time - but tried to deny it as well. I joked with the students... slept. Tried to do the Cha-Cha slide.... slept. Weird thing was I was sleeping on the tiled floor with no pillow or blanket, loud music playing and people all around me talking loudly. (Totally out of character for me. I usually need complete darkness, no noise and comfort.)



So, eventually, it was time for lunch and I just couldn't bring myself to eat. I kept making myself drink water. I was extremely tired of the water. Jen, one of the PPM staff asked me what I would be able to consume. I needed to have SOMETHING. I said, "Chicken Noodle soup, saltines and ginger ale- but I already had ginger ale- gatorade was probably a better choice." She did what she could to get me some! Along with her air mattress and a fan so I could sleep more comfortably until the bus arrived and could take me back to the hotel and the air conditioning.

Sleep. That was all I could do.



We got to the hotel and I went to my bed right beside the window air conditioner. I slept another couple of hours before I was finally able to sit up and eat the Ramen noodles and the crackers Jen brought me. I also drank the gatorade she got and then I finished off the water I had in my bottle. Water had to be filtered there. I didn't dare walk outside to go find some or get more Gatorade. What if I was too weak? What if I fainted? I took a quick, cold shower to ensure I was cooling off. Then I decided to lay down and sleep more- after I emailed home to have some human connection. I didn't feel well and I think I was alone for about 5 hours.... I needed some human companionship- and reassurance. Tired, I fell back asleep. Around 9:30 my daughters came in with more Gatorade and filled my water bottle with more water. This was some sort of heat exhaustion, I was suffering from. I had every hope that when I woke up in the morning I would feel much better. Have I ever slept so much in my life? I don't think so. But, again, I went to bed and didn't wake up until the alarm sounded the next day!

My comfort foods from Jen-

 

Our room-



Bathroom-

 

The hotel "kitchen" - the family that owns it also lives there- they let me make coffee in the morning :)



Hotel Hallway to the rooms and balcony-