Out of all the things the Bible says about love, I think this one is the hardest for me to swallow. I mean, I am naturally a list maker. I love to check things off and complete tasks...but keeping a list in my head of what people in my life have or have not done concerning me takes this to a whole other level!
I am not sure how it happened...but for as long as I can remember, I think "keeping track" has been some sort of a safety net I have used to make sure I don't keep traveling down the same path and keep getting hurt. You know, "Hurt me once, shame on you- hurt me twice, shame on me...."
Oh! It's fool me, not hurt me?? Hmm....
Well, for some reason, I use what good and bad is done concerning me in the past to measure, somehow, whether or not I can trust you, how much you must care about me, and in many ways how much - or IF- I am going to spend any real amount of time with you.
It's horrible, really. I mean, I would hate to have someone in my life who kept a record of everthing good or bad I have ever done concerning them. I would most likely not have as many friends in my life and probably would be failing miserably with most people.
The only thing I can do is PRAY when I find myself going to this apparent "mind list" I have made and ask God to help me NOT pay attention. To help me NOT think about it. To help me live each day as if it is BRAND NEW and remind me of the grace I have been shown by not having a list with my record thrown up in my own face!
Yep. so in all honesty, for me, this one is the one that sort of slaps me upside the head! OUCH! I need to avoid keeping a record of wrongs....I need to focus on the GOOD people do, the POSITIVES- give the benefit of the doubt and avoid going down that negative road, if at all possible.... And, the only way that is going to happen is with God's help, cuz I have proven that I can't do it in my own strength!
No comments:
Post a Comment