Learning Through Loss

I have no picture to put here...just words that express my thoughts and feelings about a rather sad topic.

Experiencing the death of a loved one happened to me for the first time around the age of 7, when my grandpa died.

When I reflect on the people I have lost, I sometimes think people may be afraid to befriend me if they knew the amount.

There are acquaintances, family, and best friends, and friends on my list and each touched my life through their living and again through their dying.

Through the loss of my grandparents- which I was blessed that most stayed around until I was an adult and had all of my children- I learned the importance of legacy. I learned that which we pass along to our children and our children's children is of the utmost importance. I learned to love in a very unconditional and personal way that I think one learns best as they age.

Through the loss of two of my best friends- one in elementary school who was killed while biking on a ride she invited me to go on, and one from high school who was murdered after we both had kids- I learned that death sometimes is so brutally unexpected and can end a relationship before you ever imagined you would have to let it go.

My niece, who was just 12 days younger than my oldest daughter, died when she was 9. This reminded me and taught me that as adults, we should never take a child for granted. And that sometimes, life lasts for a much shorter time than anyone would ever guess....and how unfair that seems.

A great uncle of mine passed, and though he was such a sweet man, I learned how ugly people can sometimes become when someone they love passes.

As I said, there are more deaths- but I will not get into each one. I will simply say this: with each person's passing, whether expected or not, I have experienced some degree of guilt. Some denial. Some anger. Some fear. Some depression.

I have realized or been reminded each time how much and how often I can take life and those people in my life for granted.

I have also come to the conclusion that death was not what we were made for as people. We were made as eternal beings and that means there should be NO END. I believe this is what makes death so difficult. Being left here without the ones we love. We feel an end that should not be.

The recent passing of a friend from one of my Zumba classes came as a complete shock to me. I try to make my classes a place where people can come and set aside life's troubles. I try to make it a healthy, happy place. And, I think it is. But, the death of this friend, reminded me that we never know when we encounter another- what their story is...so it has become even more important to me now to make sure I do what I can for each person I encounter. To give a message of hope and love and happiness. A smile, some encouraging words.... It doesn't take a lot to let others know they and whatever it is they are going though, is important. That they matter. That you care.

I have heard it said,

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Leo F. Buscaglia quotes

My friend's daughter told me that when she saw me, she pictured her mom in my Zumba class, smiling and laughing and having such a good time. She probably has no idea how very thankful I was and am to hear that. Because I DO care. People are what matters most on this planet and I want the people I come in contact with to know that.