Does Not Delight in Evil- but Rejoices with Truth

EVIL- 1.Morally bad or wrong; wicked 2. Causing ruin, injury, or pain; harmful

TRUE- 1. the quality of being true, genuine, actual, or factual 2. something that is true as opposed to false 3. honesty, reliability, or veracity- fidelity

Wow...this one sort of took me back for a second. I looked at it and had to think about or define both EVIL and TRUTH to figure out what it really meant.

So, love does not take delight- or joy, or pleasure- in anything morally wrong or wicked. Morally wrong- well....morally, I guess the biggest guide I have is the Bible. Maybe beginning with the 10 Commandments.

Have no other god before the Lord God.
Do not make or worship an idol.
Do not misuse the name of the Lord, your God.
Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy.
Honor your Father and Mother.
Do not murder.
Do not commit adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not be jealous and want what others have.

Realtionally- in a loving environment- this would mean something like the following, perhaps-

Do not expect a person you love to be God for you. God is the only one who can be your all-in-all and it isn't fare to ask someone else- anyone else to be that for you.

Do not worship a person- the higher you put them on a pedastool, the harder the fall. No one is perfect and being imperfect means you will always be let down if you worship a person.

The third is not misusing God's name, and I believe this all ties in- the first three all talk of the importance of God in your life. He is number one...when that part of our lives is off track- it is easy to let the rest go.

What I have found, is that if my walk with God is off- it is harder for me to be as loving. It is harder for me to do much of anything very well.  When I focus on Him, somehow, things in other areas of my life fall into place easier. Especially in the realtionship department.

Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy. This again, is more about God. But, it is so helpful to us as people as well. In remembering the Sabbath, we rest. We spend time together. It lets us regroup and center from the business of life.

Honor your father and your mother. When you have a good relationship at home before you leave your mother and father, it seems to carry over into having an easier time adapting to a spouse and family and getting along with them. If you have a hard time showing those at home love, honor and respect- or if you come from a home where these things are not valued....it only stands to reason that it will be more of a struggle living out the rest of your life this way. It will have to be a new way of life- something you must learn to do. But, well worth the learning. People love back much better when they know they are valued, honored, respected and truly loved.

Do not murder- hello? This one would end any relationship. And obviously, this would be pretty evil. Love would not be happy to kill someone. No way.

Do not commit adultery- another big one. It is not loving to share intimacy that is supposed to be reserved for one- and sacred, to be anything but evil. It is never going to help the relationship you began with one person to divide yourself, physically, emotionally, or otherwise with another in the same fashion. If anything, it will probably cause you to drift further apart. On the opposite end- what if when you feel your relationship is falling apart- instead, you begin to pour more of you into it than ever? You give more of yourself emotionally and physically...to make the other person feel loved and appreciated and valued?

Do not steal- another obvious one...stealing tells a person you do not respect them or their property. But, what about stealing things like a person's JOY? A person's CONFIDENCE? A person's sense of WORTH? A person's ACCOMPLISHMENTS? On the opposite end- how loving it is when we rejoice with someone in their joy? When we lift them up and boost their confidence. When we show them we value them as God does and are proud of their accomplishments and cheer them on to more? That IS loving. That is rejoicing in TRUTH!

Do not lie. I suppose any relationship is going to be easier if the person you are in relationship with knows you are trustowrthy. If you truly love someone, I would say, it would be difficult to lie to them as you would probably feel guilty in doing so. You would not be HAPPY to lie to their face. It would put a feeling in your stomach as if a huge stone had been dropped there.

Do not be jealous and covet what others have.
If you are in a relationship where the person you are with is never happy with what you have, how things are- always discontent- eventually, the relationship will get broken down. On the other side, when the one you are with is grateful for you and for what you bring to the relationship, physically, emotionally, spiritually, monetarily, they do not even care what others have or do- and it leaves your relationship feeling GOOD- adequate- or even more than adequate. There is a sense of being content. :)

Wow....the fact of the matter is that in the new testament Jesus said that all of the commandments- (and there are more) could be summed up in LOVING GOD and LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. Love God. Love others. And this is what I have been exploring and writing about for weeks. What exactly is - isn't LOVE......

Keep No Record of Wrongs?!

Out of all the things the Bible says about love, I think this one is the hardest for me to swallow. I mean, I am naturally a list maker. I love to check things off and complete tasks...but keeping a list in my head of what people in my life have or have not done concerning me takes this to a whole other level!
I am not sure how it happened...but for as long as I can remember, I think "keeping track" has been some sort of a safety net I have used to make sure I don't keep traveling down the same path and keep getting hurt. You know, "Hurt me once, shame on you- hurt me twice, shame on me...."
Oh! It's fool me, not hurt me?? Hmm....
Well, for some reason, I use what good and bad is done concerning me in the past to measure, somehow, whether or not I can trust you, how much you must care about me, and in many ways how much - or IF- I am going to spend any real amount of time with you.
It's horrible, really. I mean, I would hate to have someone in my life who kept a record of everthing good or bad I have ever done concerning them. I would most likely not have as many friends in my life and probably would be failing miserably with most people.
The only thing I can do is PRAY when I find myself going to this apparent "mind list" I have made and ask God to help me NOT pay attention. To help me NOT think about it. To help me live each day as if it is BRAND NEW and remind me of the grace I have been shown by not having a list with my record thrown up in my own face!
Yep. so in all honesty, for me, this one is the one that sort of slaps me upside the head! OUCH! I need to avoid keeping a record of wrongs....I need to focus on the GOOD people do, the POSITIVES- give the benefit of the doubt and avoid going down that negative road, if at all possible.... And, the only way that is going to happen is with God's help, cuz I have proven that I can't do it in my own strength!

Heart Strings....

Watching the videos...reading the articles....seeing the pictures....these poor and wonderful people in Japan have been hit- and hit HARD! Earthquake, tsunami, nuclear radiation....I can only imagine....

As I see people smile - hug- share what little they have, it really pulls on my heart strings...

Just last night we were talking in our Youth Group called Thrive about how much we have and how little we share....how our overflow could be someone else's blessing....and I think about right now the overflow I have.

The house, the cars, the clothes, the food, the beds, the pets, the people in my life....

People there have lost not only their homes, food, water, clothing, pets, but they have lost each other. They cannot keep up on the dead bodies as there are not enough coffins, body bags, and they do not have the ability to creamate in the capacity!

I cannot imagine the world as I once knew it laying adound me in disarray and rubble- cars stacked, buildings wiped away and actually seeing deaad bodies of people floating on the shoreline....it sounds as if it was a war-zone. I cringe and tears come as I watch a lady hug a young child in an effort to comfort and console...to see this kind of devestation and destruction as a young child....this overwhelms my burdened heart.

I think to myself, "What can I do? How can I help? Out of the abundance that I have- how can I bless?"

No FB- Day 3

Yesterday some dear friends of ours came to visit from Oklahoma. Excellent to see them!!
They were the first people we met when we moved out there and we hung out all the time. That was like 10 years ago!

We went to visit them almost 5 years ago and it seemed then as it does now, things just picked up as if we had never been apart! That is the sign of a good relationship- you just pick up where you left off and space and time have no apparent affect!

This DID make no facebooking a little hard for me. These are the times I like to share. I like to share with the world all the happiness that is going on in my little part of it.

I also discovered yesterday that I like to get my little "ha-ha's" in on FB as well. I was able to lay in the sun for a little while yesterday as we hit 70 with barely a cloud in the sky - and as I lay there enjoying it, I was thinking, "I sure would love to post this to FB and rub it in to all my Ohio and Illinois peeps!"

Ahhh well, 3 days without it and I am feeling fine! Today is the 3rd day and I am guessing it won't be very difficult, either....as I have plenty to do! 2 Dentist appointments and then we are heading to Denver to show our friends around, and then to my favorite- BOULDER!! and we will be meeting up with other friends there....gonna be delightful!!

Sooooo......No big withdrawals yet....But, there is still plenty of time for that!:)

No FB - Day 1

Well, today was a great day to start not using fb for my social life! I was way too busy for it anyway. Trying to get plates for my new vehicle took about 3 trips and five hours! Unbelieveable! Anyway...I got them and they are CUTE! Pink to support finding a cure for Breast Cancer. Part of the proceeds go to that! Cool!

I enjoyed time in my suburban with the sunroof open and my music playing kind of loud! Beautiful day - high of 57. Not bad...not bad... ;)

I found already today that I had more time. Time in the morning just spent talking to my girls before driving them both to school. Time to reflect on people I had not talked to in a while personally...and so I took time to do that as well! :)

Time to think, too. Thinking about a way to promote my business on fb more than I am currently. I started a Zumba FB page. I list things there about Fitness, Zumba and what is going on with my classes, etc. It is also a place where people can give me feedback. Today, I was thinking about running some kind of contest so that people who are friends with my page can introduce the page to their friends....the person who recruits the most "likes" for my page can get a free 6 week session at one of the locations I teach! I am thinking it is a good way to advertise and spread the word while giving those who help promote a chance to benefit from their help!

So, Day 1....not bad....not bad....and now, I am going to go cuddle up in my bed, relax and catch a little TV- (what's that, anyway?! lol)
Day one- not bad. Not bad at all....

Not Easily Angered

Love- it is not easily angered.

I have heard it said that anger is a secondary emotion. Which means that in general, the first emotion is maybe hurt or scared- but to kind of mask the volnurability that goes along with  those emotions that somehow open us up to another in a way that can leave us feeling weak or exposed, we hide those emotions and just unleash the beast- ANGER.

It makes sense- to truly show yourself means you are opening yourself up to the possibilities of being hurt. But, in the safe place of love, exposing ourselves becomes a beautiful thing where we truly get to know another and truly get to be known.

I would say that if you get the chance...the next time your spouse does something like forgetting your anniversary, instead of saying, "UGH. I am so mad at you! You never remember the important dates!" Say, "Honey, I love you so much and the day we were married is so important to me. I feel hurt when I feel like it isn't as important to you because you treat it like just another day." (This of course is just an example...the point I am trying to make is- don't mask what you are really feeling or thinking. Don't jump right into anger! Decide to give the loved ones in your life the benefit of knowing YOU! Tell them how you really feel deep down about things.)

I gaurantee that when you love someone and are open and honest with them and the person you are open and honest with loves you- (they have your best interest at heart as you do them)- you will reach new levels in your relationship by letting yourself be exposed! You will automatically find yourselves getting angry less and less!

Love is not SELF-SEEKING.....

Self Seeking. Hmmm... loving someone else means you put their needs ahead of your own. AHEAD of your own. I absolutely LOVE to serve others....to meet people's needs....to help others....to make people's lives better....happier.....clearer.....

I have learned though, that sometimes people can really take advantage of a giving person. I have also learned that sometimes you can spread yourself too thin and not take care of yourself- and if you are not taken care of, is it really even still possible to care for others??

The real judge of WHY we do what we do is God. The reality is that we don't really know if a person is doing something nice for us just so they will get something in return- which would be self-seeking....or if they are doing something nice because they want what is best for us- which would be selfless.

Another thing about this love not being "self-seeking" is that sometimes, a person who is a giver can totally get used up- taken advantage of- by being the one doing all of the giving and never- or rarely- getting anything back. I have found myself in relationships like that before, too....and from experience, let me tell you- BEWARE! If you let yourself be used and abused in this way it can leave you empty and worthless for things that really matter. It can leave you feeling worthless and drained and often times is just enabling another person to live in an unhealthy way, anyway. So, in short- if you are not careful- you could end up allowing yourself, and others harm in the long run.

Good boundaries are essential. I still struggle with this. I pray I get better and I work at getting better. I am better than I once was. But, somethimes I can feel like a real "sucker". One who will fall for anything and pour my all in...and for WHAT?! To be left drained....

Another thing is that I am learning is that what I DO need,  I cannot always expect a person(s) to provide. I need to trust that God will provide.This takes the pressure off if you are in relationships with others who also find their needs/wants met through and by God. No person can or should be expected to be perfect or be the all-in-all for anyone.

Love is not self-seeking. Love is genuinely wanting and seeking what is best for the one we love. Sometimes, that means taking care of our needs first, so we can meet theirs...sort of like putting the oxygen mask on ourselves and then assisting someone to get theirs on. If we can't breathe, we can't help! :) Never-the-less....we cannot call ourselves "LOVING" if we go to another simply to get what we need/ want from them, as TRUE LOVE would never look to only gain for itself. 

I can only imagine the peace, joy and wonder of a world if we as people, could all live in such a way....