It Does No Envy

IT DOES NOT


ENVY-
a. A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.


b. The object of such feeling
 
Great! Allow me to introduce another struggle I have! I am not the most content person. If you have ever heard of "Gallup" and their "Strengthsfinder" test, you should know that my number 2 is MAXIMIZER. I like to take good and make it better or even best! I see room for and ways to improve almost everything. This can be a good thing- making them call it a strength. It can also be a bad thing.
 
Sometimes, for me this can be as simple as always being drawn to what turns out to be the most expensive item in the store....(then I look at the pricetag and decide it isn't as incredible as I thought!) Sometimes, this can mean that I think a relationship I have needs to be better...and I have had to learn that this desire for improvement in my relationships is not something I can force. Sometimes, it means that I see an athlete and my desire is to help bump them up to the next level. This almost always means that I see the need for improvement in myself.
 
This used to be a bigger struggle for me in my younger years. Newly married - and deciding to have kids right away, pretty much right out of college, means that financially there will be a little struggle. We decided also that we wanted to have mom at home and even homeschool. I grew up feeling like I would do BIG things, make BIG money, maybe have a housekeeper, etc. I ended up being that housekeeper to bring in some extra cash for our one income family. I already mentioned, I have expensive taste- I didn't go shopping. I went to resale shops, or accepted hand-me-downs from people to clothe myself and my kids much of the time. We were not in a position to have the nicest, newest cars, the biggest, bestest house, go on really nice vactions....in fact, we took a few vacations by listening to time-share salespeople after they paid for a three day or so trip for us.
 
In the midst of that, though. I learned to be content. I learned over time, not to be envious of the people I knew who seemed to have it all. I learned that what mattered most to me was my family. I look back now and realize that I have a 15 year old who still cuddles up by me like my 10 year old. I realize how much a part of their lives I have gotten to be, and I know that for me- that is the REAL treasure. I will never look back and regret missing seeing them walk, tie their shoes, learn how to swim or skate, read or write....because I was there with them every time!
 
One saying I have said to my kids as they were growing over and over again was , "People are more important than things." In reality, I was telling myself that as much as I was telling them. Now, I truly believe it!
 
I am not perfect with this...sometimes, I still wish .... but more often than not, I am content with what we have, and what we do. I still have expensive taste....but I have learned to laugh at that, too. I will say- "Ohhhh, look....I bet I can pick the one that costs the most!" and when I flip over the price tag, we just smile... knowing that it isn't a need- and that all of our needs and most of our wants are always taken care of. Always have been. And life is good.