There has been a recurring theme in my life over the summer. (Yeah, it has been that long since I have written in this blog.)
The thing is that I have been learning about EXPECTATIONS. Expectations are hopes or sometimes even demands, in a sense, that we put on ourselves and others. What has been becoming very clear to me is that seldom are our expectations met when we put them on others.
I think there are reasons for this. For one thing, no two human beings are exactly alike. No one is put on this earth to do exactly the same thing as another.Our expectations, at least my own expectations, are usually formed based on what I think I would do- how I think I would or would not handle a situation.... The truth of the matter, though, is that since no one else is my clone- or exact copy- more than likely, the way they think and the way they act will not be the same as me.
I am not sure I would always want everyone else to handle things the way I would. Honestly, even the expectations I have of myself lead to disappointment when I realize in hind-sight that I could have and should have handled something differently. If I don't even always live up to my own hopes/ expectations- how can I justify placing those expectations on another.
Even if I place an expectation on another, I have to understand that-- guess what?? THEY ARE ONLY HUMAN!!! We humans are IMPERFECT!! People will always let eachother down because of that imperfectioon- if perfection is what we are expecting....
In excluding seeking perfection, even having high hopes, or placing demands on others...who am I to do that?? I have my own issues to deal with. I have my own road I am trying to stay on and obey the rules of....do I really have time to police everyone else?? I don't even think it comes close to my job description- after all, do I really know WHY anyone else was put on this planet? Sometimes, I have enough trouble figuring out what my own reason for being here is. I am not about to begin telling other people how to do their job- when I don't know what their job may REALLY be...
I do believe that in some situations there is just a clash. There are people that just do not work well together. I don't think bad-mouthing, or trying to force another to change is helpful at all in those situations. In truth, it will probably just make things worse for all involved. In those instances, sometimes the best option is just creating space- or distance. Allowing them to continue their journey and allowing yourself to continue yours....PEACEFULLY, without resentment or condemnation....
One other thing I have noticed, is people -including myself- when putting personal demands and expectations on others are often the most unhappy people- the most discouraged- the angriest. I don't want to live that way. Do you??
