What if...

[What if God wants us to be honest and true more than He wants us to obey "the rules?"]

This is a question posted by one of my Facebook friends this morning.

Without even thinking, I found myself blurting out, "HE DOES!"

I love it when I get a confirmation about something I have recently heard or seen. For me, I usually know it is something I need to pay attention to because it is something that is brought to my attention more than once...more than twice... ;) (so maybe what I am saying is that sometimes it takes me a little time to catch on!)

I think about the stories I have read in the Bible. In each one I can think of, Jesus was into hanging out with and loving on, the people who were "themselves" - honest- what they were doing may have been "ugly", "sinful", they may have been "diseased", or an average or below average joe...but the ones his heart seemed to be drawn to were the ones who were who they were... (like Popeye- you know, "I am what I am")

Now, on the other hand, you had the religious leaders - the "churchy people", if you will. They appeared holy- sometimes "Holier than Thou" and Jesus really seemed to have little tolerance for them. Why?
I think it is because God is much more concerned with what is in our hearts, than what we look like on the outside. If all we are really concerned about is looking good- seeming to follow all the rules (which by the way NONE of us is completely capable of doing), and having our acts together all the time....then we aren't being who we are. Who we are is flawed...imperfect...unholy...

And, if we are acting like we are perfect, we are in effect making those around us feel like we are unapproachable in many ways...Most people won't really be themselves and open up around a person they only see "being good" or "perfect" all the time. They are afraid of being judged against that kind of person because of their imperfections. Jesus was (is) approachable. He wants us all to come AS WE ARE ....not as they wish they were....with imperfections, unholiness, and flaws...

The video below is another way this question was brought to my attention a couple of days ago...

                                                       http://vimeo.com/17269581
And check out my cousin's blog- kind of on the same subject about a week or so ago...

                                           http://tdubble.blogspot.com/2010/11/effin-changed.html

Letting Go...Nothing but net!

It is crazy! Lately, I feel like I am learning to "let go" again and again....and I guess I have to admit, it is kinda freeing to let go...so much more relaxing than trying to pull back, and hold on, and redirect. It is refreshing, I guess. There are just so many things in life I really have no control at all over and I am learning that this is absolutley OK.

The most recent thing has been my oldest daughter. I love her with all my heart. She is amazing and wonderful and I completely trust her. But, at some point I wasn't lining those feelings up with action. She is a great basketball player- she "gets" the game. She has basketball I.Q. and she shoots about 50% these days from the 3 point line. She can rebound like crazy..she has some good defense and some great post moves!

I was on her, though. Not in front of everyone else...but I was constantly asking her what she was working on- trying to get her to do more- sort of pushing her. I wasn't the only one who was doing this...but, I will take responsibility for my part for sure!

I had been coaching her since she was in kindergarten and it was hard to realize that perhaps we were entering a phase of her life when basketball wasn't about "us"- but about "her". This game has reached a stage in High School level, where it has become her game. She was getting frustrated by all the extra involvement from home...she wasn't loving it anymore or having much fun for that matter.

I heard her loud and clear when she said she didn't, and then added that she didn't want to play Travel Ball anymore...OUCH! That was hard to hear. For years she had been - we had been- talking about her getting a scholarship, playing in college, trying for WNBA...and coaching. Now, suddenly within a matter of seconds, none of that was in the picture...

So, I backed down. I said, "You know, I am proud of you for having the courage to say what is on your mind and I am excited what will come as a result of your decision." I stepped back. I would drive her to a lesson, (she has a great opportunity for private lessons with a coach who was All American and played for UCONN), to and from practice, do what she needed- but what she needed would no longer be determined by me- but by her!

It has been amazing to see her take off with this. She is making decisions and practicing on her own. She is asking me to make sure we schedule those private lessons. She is now not only playing, but starting on Varsity as a freshman and she is having fun again! She has gotten her edge back, too. She has stepped up and said, "There are upper classmen who want my spot- I have to work hard to keep it." and "I am a freshman starting Varsity- I need to be a leader!"

I would not have the pleasure of witnessing her grow had I not let go!! On top of that- I get to enjoy being her supportive parent- with no other motive than just watching my baby do what she loves and have fun doing it! In the game of life that feeling could be labeled as "Nothing but net!" :)

Parallel Worlds Intersect!

As I write this I am smiling from the inside out! I think it is absolutely cool and amazing how life works and it is with much enthusiam and anticipation that I think about all the possibilities of the future right now!

What has happened is this: about a month ago one of my best friends in the world from Canton, Ohio texted me on a Sunday morning. She told me that they had some friends that we would love who were moving from Canton to Colorado! She wanted me to "friend" the mom of the family on Facebook. So, of course I did just that! (This is the second time one of my best friends told me about a new friend I needed to meet in a new area we had just moved to- the last one turned into another best friend- what did I have to lose?)

So, I "friended" this lady and came to find out that her husband was coming before her and their FOUR DAUGHTERS....Yes! That's right- 4 girls...all between the ages of 13-8 (we have four daughters between the ages of 15-10 and Mark came out here before us) Coincidence?? I think not!

In our emailing on FB, I discovered that she was very emotional about all of this- leaving family, friends, being a temporary single parent to four daughters with a busy life, the oldest daughter was quite down on the whole move, and somewhere within all of that- she knew this was for the best and would all work out.

Wow....my heart immediately became attached to this family. I felt for them, literally! After all, we had just been down such a similar road just a couple months before. I remembered Mark talking about how lonely it was to stay in a hotel for 4 months- how much he missed me and the kids and the busyness of our lives together. I felt not only for this Momma that I could relate to, for the oldest daughter- who reminded me of my oldest, but also for this Dad that was beginning to remind me of my husband.

Well, as anyone who knows me knows...I wanted to extend a helping hand...to try to help in some way...it was on my heart to offer the Dad to move in with our crazy family until he could find a home and get his family out here with him. I aksed Mark-- which many people know is the logical one of us, and will often pull me back down to the ground when my heart starts fluttering with emotion all over the place...I was wondering...what will he say? Will it be "No, not now..." I mean, we do already have an exchange student here. He has said "not now" about adopting, about bringing an 18 year old homeless boy into our home...I wasn't sure....

HE SAID, "YES!!" And it gets more amazing!! In fact, when we lived in Canton, we lived only a block away from this family. Our kids took dance lessons at the same dance studio and in fact in some of the same classes! We were friends with some of the same people and never met! Never even remember seeing eachother!!

It was as if we lived in parallel worlds-- until a time such as this! We both took a turn- a little change in direction- to a new place and now our paths have crossed!! And, it is amazing! One might look at the situation and think that it seems like we are being "helpful", "caring", "sweet" or "generous". The fact of the matter is that we are doing just what we felt led to do. In return, we are feeling tremendously blessed - it is like having family here so far away....I really cannot wait to see how our family and this family develop relationally as our paths have intersected at a time when both of us have left so much behind and ventured out here! I cannot wait to see all that is in store for us as families and as friends. (I will keep you posted!) ;)

Exciting, right??!!

Kicking and Screaming...Silly Me!

Lately, I cannot help but think about how torn up I was about this move to Colorado just a few short months ago. Some people may remember...I was tallying up how many miles this place was going to be from all of my loved ones, I was upset about just starting to "find myself" again and my love of exercise and feeling like I would have to give up and start over. I was feeling bad for my children and the fact that they were so sad to leave friends and family so far behind...I was sad about leaving my travel basketball team. I was just a big blob of emotions- dealing with being the only parent around for 4 girls for 4 months, and feeling all of my emotions, their emotions...it was all so difficult for me at the time.

The funny thing is, that I look at that now and I see my girls still keeping in touch with their friends, but making many new friends. I see them - and all of us- and how we have grown closer as a family again. We have found a fantastic church - and all of us have found friends there that are so caring and wonderful. Each person is also getting involved in life here and enjoying it!

I see Tanise diving into school- both, socially and scholastically, and trying new things and succeeding! Shyanna is in two different youth groups- one at church, and one through Young Life. She is enjoying basketball again at school and making some good friendships! I see Nikayta and Cadence both enjoying basketball and are excelling in gymnastics- making friends and enjoying being the last two still home with me doing school.

Mark is enjoying his job emmensely and is doing a fantastic job at it! (No one ever had doubts about that!) He is enjoying our church and family time...and starting to coach rec-league basketball where it is fun to hear him plan and enjoy developing skills of kids who may have never played before!

Then there is me....silly me....I feel like such a GOOF!! It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how well my whole family is doing and then I am so humbled by how well things are going for me, too. Me, the one who was feeling like I was "giving up" so much and on the inside - kicking and screaming the whole way. I LOVE the friends I am making. People I can tell, who are going to be like family to us here. I LOVE our church and how it emphasizes family and has such focus on partnering with parents to help their kids stay on the right path! I have found a place to get my hands dirty and help people in our community who are going through trying times through this church and also have been blessed with the opportunity to get up and act out life lessons for our family worship service- (how I LOVE the arts!) :)

And, as if all of that were not enough, I have already been asked to teach three Zumba classes a week starting in January! Two at a recreation center, and one for kids at a dance studio! As if that weren't enough, I actually just got a call from a Curves that wants me to teach Zumba in the Circuit there!! (They called me! - Unbelieveable!)

I am not coaching basketball right now...and I love coaching...but I am still going to have the opportunity to interact and maybe help occasionally...I miss my loved ones....but I FEEL SO BLESSED! I AM so blessed!

Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought such tremendous blessing awaited us here!! I am in awe...I am humbled, very, very thankful -and I am amazed!!

Lastly, did I mention the mountains and how you can see them from EVERYWHERE?? They are a blessing in and of themselves! I guess - as it is the case in many things and at many times- you never really know how things will be until you get there! If you never take the risk, you may never have the adventure or find the blessing!

Silly Me!!

"Your Name is on the Guest List!"

Today I was reminded of some friends I have that say they cannot go into a church.... They say lightning would strike, the walls would fall - you get the idea...and if you are reading this, you know who you are....

The thing is, that is the FURTHEST thing from the truth!

For one thing, everyone in church is IMPERFECT! Everyone in church has problems, issues, concerns, questions, struggles, imperfections, and sin...

For another thing, the Bible CLEARLY tells us that Jesus came for people with problems, issues, concerns, questions, struggles, imperfections and sin.... there would be NO REASON for Him...if we WERE perfect!

My point is this, Jesus is an INCLUDER - not an EXCLUDER! He wants YOU!!! YOUR NAME IS ON HIS GUEST LIST!!!!

Pruning

We recently did some yard work in preparation for winter.

It always gives me a sort of weird feeling as I cut bushes back and we remove branches from trees...

I guess it leaves me feeling a little sad. I mean, they look so beautiful and then we leave them looking half-dressed...weak...puny...almost damaged sometimes....

Then I focus on picturing them after winter ends. I picture them with tiny green leaves and blossoms and looking full and beautiful again! Ahhh! That's better!! The reality is that without the pruning we do, they would not grow as well- as full. Sure they would grow- but more slowly and sporadically.

The same thing happens to us in our lives. We grow, we get pruned, we recover- or rest, and we grow- more fully- becoming more beautiful!

If you are reading this and you are going through difficulties right now...remember that it is a season...you may feel and even look weak, tired, puny and damaged...but this time in your life will work to add to your beauty in the next season!