Love is not SELF-SEEKING.....

Self Seeking. Hmmm... loving someone else means you put their needs ahead of your own. AHEAD of your own. I absolutely LOVE to serve others....to meet people's needs....to help others....to make people's lives better....happier.....clearer.....

I have learned though, that sometimes people can really take advantage of a giving person. I have also learned that sometimes you can spread yourself too thin and not take care of yourself- and if you are not taken care of, is it really even still possible to care for others??

The real judge of WHY we do what we do is God. The reality is that we don't really know if a person is doing something nice for us just so they will get something in return- which would be self-seeking....or if they are doing something nice because they want what is best for us- which would be selfless.

Another thing about this love not being "self-seeking" is that sometimes, a person who is a giver can totally get used up- taken advantage of- by being the one doing all of the giving and never- or rarely- getting anything back. I have found myself in relationships like that before, too....and from experience, let me tell you- BEWARE! If you let yourself be used and abused in this way it can leave you empty and worthless for things that really matter. It can leave you feeling worthless and drained and often times is just enabling another person to live in an unhealthy way, anyway. So, in short- if you are not careful- you could end up allowing yourself, and others harm in the long run.

Good boundaries are essential. I still struggle with this. I pray I get better and I work at getting better. I am better than I once was. But, somethimes I can feel like a real "sucker". One who will fall for anything and pour my all in...and for WHAT?! To be left drained....

Another thing is that I am learning is that what I DO need,  I cannot always expect a person(s) to provide. I need to trust that God will provide.This takes the pressure off if you are in relationships with others who also find their needs/wants met through and by God. No person can or should be expected to be perfect or be the all-in-all for anyone.

Love is not self-seeking. Love is genuinely wanting and seeking what is best for the one we love. Sometimes, that means taking care of our needs first, so we can meet theirs...sort of like putting the oxygen mask on ourselves and then assisting someone to get theirs on. If we can't breathe, we can't help! :) Never-the-less....we cannot call ourselves "LOVING" if we go to another simply to get what we need/ want from them, as TRUE LOVE would never look to only gain for itself. 

I can only imagine the peace, joy and wonder of a world if we as people, could all live in such a way....